April 1, 2005

Week 28

 

Tomorrow will be the last day of my 28^th week of pregnancy, which means I am ready to begin my last trimester - the final 12 weeks until my due date of June 25, 2005!  I have to praise God because this pregnancy has been an incredible experience so far.  I feel fabulous and light on my feet.  At our doctor's appointment yesterday our doctor, Dr. Kristin Kroeker, listened to the baby's heartbeat (among other things) and said that everything was going smoothly.  My glucose test results were perfect, and the baby is happily kicking away.  Jayson and I just sit and stare in awe at my belly as our little one kicks and rolls and moves - you can see it as well as feel it!  It still hasn't really sunk in that in 3 short months we will have a son - our very own child - as we alternate between feelings of elation, panic, excitement, fear, and joy.  But God is good, and we know that He will prepare us for the adventure ahead; to be good parents, patient and gentle; and to have the energy and endurance for those first few months of adjustment and transition.

April 7, 2005

Week 29

 

We just got back from our first prepared childbirth class.  Our instructor, Melissa, talked about perceptions of labor (and the associated pain), compared with how it actually is and the amount of pain we can realistically expect.  She reminded us of the breaks between the contractions, and pointed out that out of an average 15 hours of labor, only about 2-1/2 hours are actually painful.  It's nice to have that put in perspective!  Although I have heard about many really positive childbirth experiences, so I'm staying positive!  I thought I would try to memorize an entire Psalm or other passage to focus on while I'm in labor - that would keep my mind off other things!  This week I'm finding it a little bit more uncomfortable to sleep - lying down is not a good position for me!  Putting a pillow between my knees helps, and I'm fine once I get out of bed.  I guess this is to be expected and will probably only get worse as I get bigger!  Thankfully I feel wonderful otherwise!  The baby was very active tonight and during class I had an acute awareness of the joy at the end of this journey - holding our child in our arms.  I've been focusing so much on the pregnancy that sometimes I forget the reason for going through it in the first place!

April 13, 2005

Week 30

 

I used to feel the baby move mostly in the morning and in the evening, when I was still.  But recently he has been moving constantly - all day long.  I can hardly describe how amazing it feels to think of him stretching his little arms and kicking his little legs inside my belly!  At this point he is about 3 pounds (meanwhile, I've gained 23 pounds!).  But the doctor says all is well!  I had a visit today and we listened to his heartbeat - it was at 151 beats per minute, which is very healthy!  I guess as the due date draws near I am thinking more and more about the reality of bringing home a baby - one that we don't give back after playing with him for a while!  And it feels okay.  In fact, I can't help but smile when I think about our baby; the creation of love between me and Jayson; and the miracle of God's grace in our lives.  It also makes me think about my impending motherhood, which makes me all the more grateful for the phenomenal mother I had and the incredible mother-in-law I now have.  Will I be a good mom?  Will Jayson be a good dad?  We both had excellent examples, so I have no doubt that God will equip us with the necessary skills, confidence, patience, and energy to raise our little one in His Word - because ultimately our goal is to raise our children to know and love the Lord Jesus Christ, as our parents did for us.

April 20, 2005

Week 31

 

I caught a glimpse of my round belly as I was putting on my pajamas tonight.  It still blows my mind to think that there is a baby growing inside of me - God's design is so miraculous!  He is giving us this precious gift as if to say, 'This is how much I love you.'  I thought about what the look on my dad's face might be when he sees his grandson for the first time.  I can't imagine how he must feel, remembering back 31 years to when I was born.  Being handed his own daughter then, and now a grandchild.  (By the way, he calls at least every few days to check on his tornig, or 'grandchild,' and see how we're doing!!)  My in-laws are ecstatic as well.  There must be something special about being a grandparent!  And I'm certain that my mom and Jayson's dad are in heaven with big smiles on, watching our joy.  Yes, our son will be a very loved child.

April 28, 2005

Week 33

 

The baby is still moving constantly, and I found out one possible reason why...  He's already starting to turn!  Sometime in the eighth month (and I'm almost there) the baby flips so that his head is downward.  Yesterday at my doctor's visit I found out that what I thought was the baby's head on my right side was probably his bum!  It's very exciting, despite the fact that it's getting harder to breathe because he pushes upward into my chest.  But all is well, thank God, and we're at 58 days and counting!  Jayson and I are learning a lot at our childbirth class, mostly about pain management and labor.  It's all very helpful.  My breathing technique is getting better, too - you'd be surprised how hard it can be to relax and remember to breathe!  I used to think I would definitely get an epidural, but the more I learn about it, the more I want to try to avoid it.  Not that I'm swearing off any and all medication; I'm just considering all of my options and trying to focus on a positive labor.  We'll see when it gets here, though!  My mother never complained of difficult pregnancies or labors with either me or my sister, and my mother-in-law swears that Jayson and his sister practically popped out on their own.  So I'm not too worried.  Yet.

May 10, 2005

Week 34

 

We painted the nursery this weekend.  It's a sweet purple and looks fabulous.  We still have to finish painting the trim, and then the real decorating can begin!  Our last childbirth class is this week, and I have 4-1/2 weeks of work left before I take my maternity leave.  It makes it all feel so real.  Of course, it is real, but it always seemed so far off.  Jayson and I were just saying tonight that neither of us remembers me not pregnant (i.e. no belly!).  Last summer seems like a million years ago - even last Thanksgiving, when we told our families we were pregnant, seems like a long time ago.  And now here we are, decorating the nursery.  This weekend's sermon in church was about Ecclesiastes - a time for everything.  I guess there was a time for us to meet, a time to enjoy our courtship, a time to get engaged, a time to get married, a time to start a life in Fresno, a time to buy a home, a time to enjoy each other in that home, and now... a time to start a family.  I praise God every day for His perfect timing in our lives.

May 18, 2005

Week 35

 

There have been some new developments this week - swollen feet!  Don't worry, it's nothing too drastic, but it's interesting to lose my ankles!  Edema (the technical term for the swelling) is pretty common toward the end of a pregnancy, and with only 38 days to go, and the weather warming up, I had to see it coming!  So under my coworker Liz's threat of calling 911 (or worse, calling Jayson), I called the doctor's office and they said it was fine.  I'm supposed to keep my feet elevated, but I'm never sitting long enough to do that!  It's not painful, it just looks funny.  I have puffy feet and pudgy toes!  I guess if this is the worst part of my pregnancy, I am one lucky mama.  We finished our childbirth classes last week - focusing on the post partum period and breastfeeding.  I also had my fourth and final baby shower with Jayson's family last weekend, which was a ton of fun!  Things are really winding down and I'm thinking a lot about going into labor, what the delivery will be like, and how our lives will change when the baby is born.  It's especially hard for me because I'm a planner and I like to be in control, and this situation is one that just has to be given to God.  So I'm doing my best to back down and let Him take over (like I have a choice!).  We'll be fine; we'll figure it out as we go, just like everyone else.  And we'll have a beautiful baby boy to enjoy to make it all worth it.

May 25, 2005

Week 36

 

I am SO excited - we brought home our crib and changing table tonight!  It's a beautiful set and everything is coming together in the nursery!  We still have to finish the baseboards and molding, but other than that it's looking great!  Of course it's incomplete without the baby, but he'll be here soon enough!  I woke up at 4:15am AND 5:00am this morning thanks to my neighbors' howling dog - I was so angry until I realized that this is good practice for when we have the baby!  Everyone keeps telling me and Jayson to get a lot of sleep while we can - it's getting annoying to hear, but I know it's true.  I love to sleep, so it will definitely be an adjustment for me!  We're visiting the doctor's office weekly now; I had a visit yesterday.  The baby's heartbeat is still strong, my test results are fine, and they weren't worried about my puffy feet!  Praise God!  Men - you can stop reading now; this part is for the ladies...  My cervix has not dilated yet but it has started to efface and soften, so everything is right on track!!  With my due date exactly a month from today, the reality of becoming parents is getting ever closer and I'm really becoming anxious to meet our little one.  What will he look like?  Will he have hair?  I haven't had much heartburn, so maybe not?  (It's an old wives tale that if you have a lot of heartburn while you're pregnant, the baby will be born with a lot of hair.)  Will he have green eyes like his daddy, grandma Nelda, and grandpa Sam?  Will he have any birthmarks?  What will his cry sound like?  I can hardly contain myself.

May 31, 2005

Week 37

 

When we first found out we were pregnant (way back in October), our due date of June 25, 2005 seemed like it was years away - but here we are!!  It's almost June, and our anticipation has been building toward this time, this huge event, when we make the transition to being parents.  Jayson and I were talking last night about these changes.  First we went from being single to being married, and that was pretty huge.  But this seems bigger.  Way bigger.  Going from being a married couple to being parents just seems like a gigantic leap, one we only feel prepared to make thanks to the support of our families and the confidence that we get from God's Word.  I feel like motherhood is what I was created for - that I am using my body to the full potential of its design.  And every time our son kicks and rolls, which is quite often these days, I picture the little feet or knees or elbows I'm going to be holding in my arms in just a few weeks.  Really, it's overwhelming.  Just thinking about a mini-Jayson/Silva running around is scary enough!

June 7, 2005

Week 38

 

So I am upset today because I did not get examined during my weekly doctor's visit.  I know that sounds odd, but I really wanted to know if I have started dilating yet!  My doctor wanted to wait until next week - doesn't she know how impatient I am?!?  With 2-1/2 weeks to my due date, I could go into labor at any time!  As for now, I feel pretty good.  My feet and ankles (or "cankles," as everyone calls them) are still puffy, but they are not bothering me much.  My last day of work is this Friday.  My boss and coworkers are so emotional that I'm leaving, but I have to admit I am so excited to finally be home!  I have worked since I was 14 and I am looking forward to being a stay-at-home mommy!  Jayson and I went to a newborn care class last night.  It was pretty basic - how to diaper and bathe, and what to expect a newborn to look like.  The molded heads on the babies were funny - depending on how long they are in the birth canal, they come out with cone heads!  It goes away, though.  So if our baby has a cone head, don't laugh!  The nursery is just about ready; we just need to hang up some artwork and buy a bookshelf.  I did 7 loads of laundry last weekend getting everything washed and ready for the baby.  I am still in full-on nesting mode - I have a list of tasks to complete around the house before the baby is born!  But if he wants to come a little early (Father's Day would be nice) I would not be upset in the least!

June 14, 2005

Week 39

 

I am finally done with work and started my maternity leave this week.  It feels good to be a stay-at-home almost-mommy!  I rested last weekend to prepare for tackling my very long to-do lists this week!  But it's been a productive couple of days!  I've run several errands, including pre-registering at the hospital.  Jayson has been hard at work putting together the playpen, swing chair, and stroller (thank goodness for that engineering degree!).  We are both so excited!  My doctor's visit today showed that I am 40% effaced and 1cm dilated, so we're definitely on our way!  My doctor also said that the baby's head is down very, very low - she said he's in an excellent position and ready to go!  Our prayer now is for God to prepare and strengthen us both for the labor and delivery.  I'm trying to be flexible and go with the flow - but anyone who knows me knows that this is the antithesis of my natural instincts, so please say a prayer that I can be calm and loose and handle whatever comes my way!  Every birth story I have heard has been different, so I know mine will be unique as well, which makes it just a little hard to be prepared!  But as I've said before, we just need to give this to God and He will get us through it.  I'll really have to work hard at developing that flexibility, because I'll need it so much more as the baby gets older!  Thank goodness Jayson is so easygoing - at least one of us will stay sane.

June 17, 2005

Week 39

 

I just finished packing my hospital bag - you hear that, baby?  You can come anytime now!  Jayson and I are getting really excited!  Only 8 days until our due date and the anticipation is mounting!  I'm having a really hard time sleeping - I just keep flipping from side to side and can't seem to get comfortable.  During the day I stay busy with errands and I'm slowly completing my to-do list.  I got my hair done today - I might as well do it now while I have the time!  We have a busy weekend coming up; tomorrow is my sister-in-law's baby shower and we have a graduation party in the evening.  And Sunday is Jayson's first Father's Day!  I think he counts at this point!  It still amazes me to think back to when we first met - We were both 18 and I thought Jayson was this cool skater boy on fire for God!  And now we are going to be parents (still on fire for God!).  Our lives have been scattered with heartache, but overflowing with blessings, and for that we are grateful.